Embarrassment gets us all
I'm walking between alleys in grocery store with post-it note in my hand. It 2 hours before closing the store right after holiday break. Shelves are half empty, staff at the mall exhausted. Fortunately most of the items from my list are there.
"Good, won't be needing extra trip next day" I think to myself.
Cart is full, I'm going to cash register. I unpack groceries on conveyor belt, took whole length on register. Never would have guessed items from list would take so much space. Scanned loyalty card. Verdict is visible on small screen, more than usually, but nothing too drastic.
"Cash or card?" cashier asked.
"Card"
Ding ding
"I'm sorry, card was denied. Maybe try again?"
Ding ding
"Insufficient funds"
Wide opened my eyes. My face was a host of that nervous smile. A moment of realization, it's still a week till salary and I went a little too strict on savings at the beginning of previous month. With corner of my eye I see people in queue sighing with annoyance. In their eyes I am just another guy withholding them back from getting back to home.
"Give me a second" Quickly look into my account on phone. Pouring back some money to cover groceries. Done.
"We can try again" I say as if this payment is group effort.
It goes through. Despite knowing how much I took from savings account and knowing it should be fine, I'm relieved. Still feeling some tension I splutter.
"Heh, must've been other card."
In that situation, out of sheer embarrassment, I felt obligation to explain myself. Worst yet I made up some excuse adjacent to truth on the spot just to fill in void. To some extend it seems natural to explain or to excuse myself, but I can get over that little lie. I could not tell it, but I did. In the end, I'm glad i noticed it. I can do something about it.